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Just my thought – if your wife's father died within the last year, hold off making decisions on the money. I understand why you are hurt… but in the cloud of grief people do not always think clearly.
I'd keep the money where it is, as it is, and shortly after the year anniversary of his passing go out to dinner and have a real conversation about this whole issue. There is a good chance that this is not about the money at all and more about her relationship to her father and how it is all her children have left of him. If your daughter didn't have a relationship with him, that might be emotionally what is getting in your wife's way.
Start the conversation removing your daughter entirely from it. Start with whether there are key possessions of his that she wants her bio children to have from her father. A coin collection. A stamp collection. A marble collection. Or, whether she wants to have his old shirts turned into quilts for each of his grand children. Once the grand children have personal memorial items of his, it might make the conversation surrounding the money easier. But right now EVERYTHING is going to be emotionally charged because it is through a fog of grief.
Yes, he is. His username is not difficult to find and it’s clear that he’s a misogynist who blames his wife for everything wrong in his life. His delusion spans multiple areas. It doesn’t help that he’s found subreddits that fuel his obsession and hatred related to women.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this, OP. You deserve happiness and you should leave him and find it. Please take measures to stay safe as suggested by others here.
Because people break trust as evidenced by so many paternity frauds.
Trying to control other people's narratives is a wasted effort. It can never be achieved. OP can go on living her life and that will just be that.
Sounds like a good idea, but i live in such a stone-age ungabunga country and im from what i can find they aren't available here, but i haven't fully looked into it… But it's a very good idea, appreciate it.
Ex is texting about things that definitely have nothing to do with co-parenting, and unloading on the gf about a change in the relationship with the dad instead of handling it with the dad.
Gf is unreasonably jealous of ex's existence and any relationship between ex and OP.
Really this is on OP for not having good boundaries, both with ex and gf. If you want a new relationship, your relationship with the ex should be about co-parenting, not evening emotional dog-picture support. And gf needs a no-nonsense refusal of her demand to cut off any relationship with ex, because that's not possible (but given the kid is 15, the communication definitely doesn't need to be as frequent as it appears to be).