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11 thoughts on “DAPHNE

  1. Yikes. Well, I think some of these other comments are a bit harsh, It was a mistake. If the two of you enjoy making videos together he has to assume you probably enjoyed doing that before with previous partners. It’s in the past, it’s not like you disrespected him or betrayed him. Obviously he’s probably feeling a bit sick to his stomach, retro-jealousy, or a various number of things. I would give him space. Let him process because trying to talk now during this moment of heightened emotions won’t end well. Give him space. I would probably send a final message “I am absolutely sick and torn up about what happened today. I want you to know I have since deleted all pics and videos of anyone other than us so this won’t happen in the future. I have no need for those and I should have deleted everything before something like this happened. I am so regretful that you had to see that. Please let me know what I can do. I’m going to give you some space so I don’t make it worse, please let me know what else I can do. I’m so sorry you saw that”

    I really hope you guys work through it. Poor guy I’m sure it was awful for him to watch.

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  3. It's more that taking unpaid leave would mean needing to go into my savings the following month and there is no guarantee my job would let me take unpaid leave anyway which would mean using more annual leave

  4. Holy shit read this out loud to yourself and the answers are right there for you. DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS GUY. You can love somebody and also realize it’s not healthy for you to be in a relationship with them. The couples counselor wants your money Im sorry to say. Time to stop rationalizing his behavior to paint a nice picture for everyone else and face the faces. You’re supporting a dead beat who doesn’t respect you. Cancel the engagement asap!!! If you need to, have your therapist help her. Tell him/her you’ve decided that getting married this summer is not in your best interest and you want help untangling this relationship.

  5. Make sure you have been clear and that he knows all the reasons you broke up, so he can process it all. Other than that, all he needs is time to get over it so don’t contact him or respond.

  6. I had an ex boyfriend who was a carpenter who came from a family of carpenters and contractors. So he had these super “masculine” skills and abilities, but he was the kind of guy that would wear glittery leggings and put ribbons in his hair. He was also like 6’3”.

    Anyways, the way men interacted with him was always really strange. It was like they couldn’t fit him in a box with so they couldn’t figure out how to relate to him. It was similar to how they might react to a woman who could out-compete them in some masculine skill, but without the sense of chivalry or protectiveness that would keep them from outright challenging her. Like his existence was some kind of personal attack.

  7. This forum is always biased towards divorce and tbh in most cases it is the best advice because it's really nude to rebuild trust when it has been broken. As others have stated your wife really must show with actions that she regrets it if there will ever be a chance for reconciliation.

    You also need to consider that you will be her “jailer” during the time she tries to rebuild trust. Someone else made a comprehensive list of steps for reconciliation that she must be willing to take. The first one being not going on that work trip.

  8. You won't really gain much by not inviting them. It will be an admission, to anyone in the know, that they're getting to you.

  9. It doesn’t have to be sexual for it to be weird also complete faith in anyone is a fools errand. You need to be rational in life, so stuff like this needs to be brought up by op if it makes him uncomfortable. And if that’s a boundary for him and not for her, he should leave before he starts building resentment. A degree of trust is required in a relationship, but you don’t just automatically assume your partner will be okay with you committing an act that can be viewed as sensual or sexual at the same time outside of the relationship. Unless they have impeccable communication, this is a legitimate issue that should be discussed between them.

  10. Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. And sorry you’ve had to go through all that! Diabetes sucks – I have type 1 too. Pretty similar story – got misdiagnosed for a while before finding out when I was 13. It’s rough, but I can’t quite relate to you or partner because I’ve never seen it as life-threatening. Really appreciate the nuanced advice, thank you! And best of luck!

  11. I'm not sure where you're getting that she can pursue her own career while he's in the military. Are you suggesting she doesn't move with him, that she keep the kids where her job is and he can come visit while on leave? Because then why bother marrying?


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