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My ex-girlfriend was bipolar. This diagnosis, which she knew about for about 12 years before her and I even met, was not disclosed to me until 2 years in. In my mind, she was dealing with depression. I like to think I’m a good partner. I stood by her and tried to help as best as I could. I tried to just be there for her when she was depressed, I tried to get to her into therapy, I tried getting her to try out new things that she could do alone, or things we could do together to bond. Nothing I tried could have possibly helped because I had no idea the extent of what she was dealing with because she knowingly chose to hide it from me. It was selfish of her, and it made me feel like I was a bad partner for 2 years because I felt like I was failing her. DO NOT hide any legitimate mental health issues from someone you plan to actually try and build a life with. I wish my ex all the best, but my god do I resent her.
And if you’re wondering, I would NOT have left had she been upfront with me at the start. I would have known what I was getting into, and I could have dealt with issues as they came up more appropriately, and I also wouldn’t have blamed myself for so many things.
For the love of god, don’t be selfish to someone you want to start a relationship with and pull what she did to me.
No one is perfect, your bf included
I don't think she's totally out of line, although I don't agree with her arguments on why you should pay more. I think in a relationship splitting expenses by your percentage of income is more equitable, not necessarily a 50/50 split. IE both parties pay 25% of their income to bills.
But I get where you're coming from, you're finally getting ahead and this shit happens.
Also food for thought, if you agree to her proposal, she might take you as being soft and push for more concessions down the line.
I AM your age. In fact, I’m older than you. It’s sad that you can’t see respect isn’t given. It’s EARNED. You’ve done nothing but denigrate this poor woman. Even your “apologies” are pathetic. You aren’t sorry for what you did. You are sorry she had feelings about it. That’s not an apology. Grandparents rights aren’t a thing. Not the way you think. It’s not a given. You have to show that you were an active and involved part of the child’s life and they will be in a bad situation without you. However you are going to lose and lose bad. (What you spend on attorney fees could have gone to a car). You have THREE parents in agreement, rational, involved and good parents saying you aren’t to be in the grandkids’ lives. They have that right. And you have no one to blame but yourself. Your life is going to be cold and lonely with no grandchildren, no children. Because YOU did this. You made your DIL birth about YOU. You made her life threatening medical condition into a “mental issue”. You didn’t take the time to take your son at his word and then learn about postpartum preeclampsia. No not you. You insulted your son. You mocked and insulted your DIL and you disparaged their OB. Because it’s all about YOU. And it’s not “selfish” to avoid taking pain medicine. It’s smart. Especially if she’s breastfeeding, she doesn’t want to take anything that might harm her baby. HER baby not yours. And they don’t owe you anything. Your son was exactly correct in NOT picking you up when you had a temper tantrum because you couldn’t see the baby. If he did that, his wife may have died from her condition. I’ve seen bad things like that happen while breastfeeding and it’s not pretty with generally crappy outcomes. And the “my family doesn’t do it this way”. You’re right. They cut you out of the family because of YOUR action. NO woman who went through a traumatic birth and emergency C-section wants to go visiting and have visitors. You don’t deserve to be in their lives and they made the right decision to block you. But you’ll just turn and blame your DIL like you do about everything. Time to look inward and get some hot therapy. You need it.