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You are entitled to your feelings. Your girlfriend should not belittle your feelings or dismiss you. You are entitled to communicate what brings pleasure to you sexually. If you don't like how she's giving you a handjob, ask her to change it, and give her advice on how to make it better (for example). A man can not change the size of his penis (unless he's extremely overweight by losing weight). She either accepts your penis size ,or she leaves. Unless your friend and her friend are nudists (doubtful), that part of a man's body is intimate and not something that should be shown off.
I suggest you identify your own boundaries and make those boundaries clear. Boundaries are actions that she can not perform without you ending the relationship. My boundaries are:
No talking about penis size. Since it can't be changed, there's no reason it should be talked about. No asking to see penises other people who you know, because of the risk of intimacy. To always be honest and transparent about sexual needs, and not to belittle sexual requisitions (within reason of course).
If any of those three boundaries are violated for me, the relationship is over.
Well yeah, that's appropriate when the FIL never even met the stepdaughter, and when the stepdaughter has her own mother and grandfather to leave her an inheritance which the wife's children will not receive.
We all get 4 grandparents and 2 parents. Asking for an extra roll of the dice is greedy.
“Well which is it? You want a divorce, or you don't? Whether I would fight for it should be irrelevant.”
Hold up. Did you really just admit to incest ?
Guy is bad news all around. You don’t like abortions, ok well it didn’t happen to you. But to bring up someone else’s in an argument of all things well that’s not anything I’d consider acceptable in a future partner or husband.
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100%.
We've reached a point in our relationship where we've come to the proverbial fork in the road. Either we commit for life, get married and start a family, or else we need to split up. Because ultimately, both of us want to get married and have kids. The only question is: will it be together?
But that's a very daunting decision to make. It's huge. I'd argue it's the most important decision anyone makes in their lives: who are you going to build your life with? It's not something to decide lightly, and I am (self-admittedly) terrified of making the wrong decision.
As human being im not okay with this. Mutilation is mutilation. It needs to be made illegal.
Condoms are not 100% effective
The age gap can be an issue but doesn't have to be. If you're okay with it and he's okay and it's not something like teacher/student or worker/manager or something? Then just knowing it means it's just something to watch for. it's only a “red flag” if it's being abused.
For me the question is… why is he dancing with other women and why is he half hard while doing it?
Is it because you're not dancing? Is it because he's a male stripper? is it just randomly happening?
if he salsa dances and you don't? how else is he going to dance? unless you're going to learn and put up a boundary of “no one else gets your salsa but me”?
I have childhood trauma that makes me shutdown in a similar way, and my partner and I have found those things helpful. I’ve found the #1 most important thing for me is to just take really good care of myself. If I’m eating like crap, not exercising enough, staying up too late, not doing self care etc – I become sooo much more easily overwhelmed. When I’m in a healthier state, I’m able to handle more intensity and “observe” myself starting to shut down then take steps to stop it – communicate, take a time out, ask for reassurance etc.
I wanna say though, OP I think you have to take more responsibility for changing this pattern. There’s a passive “well that’s just the way it is” vibe to this post. You do need an understanding/cooperative partner who is willing to work with you on this, but it’s ultimately on you to keep seeking therapy and resources to get better. You can’t expect anyone to be happy being with someone who goes mute anytime a difficult conversation has to happen.