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The successful melding of “families” takes place at a snails pace, over at least a Year
of on-going interaction. Good Luck.
Start collecting evidence and talking to a lawyer. This isn’t normal and she can’t justify it. He is 100% cheating on you.
Hire a weekly cleaning service
You need to make sure you get emotional help from a therapist. I know how it completely destroys your life. Everything you thought you could rely on has disappeared, all the anchors.
There is a massive hit to your self esteem and all that you believe about yourself.
Don’t underestimate this and be sure to get professional help. It literally saved my life.
In our case, we worked things out. I know she was genuinely sorry, but at the same time still has no clue at the depth of impact that this had on me, and still does from time to time ten years on.
Sorry you are having to go through this.
You feel what you feel about her and you're never going to convince yourself that you feel otherwise. It's unfair to her and yourself to maintain any kind of false pretense that you two are together romantically if that's not what you want.
You don't need to be “brutally honest” with her. Be kind, but firm, and just explain that you only love her as a friend.
The other part of this is that it's not your job to “save” her. It sounds like you're tied to her out of guilt or protectiveness or whatever. You can care about her and want to help her, but she needs to be responsible for her own life. You're not her parent.
Move on and find someone who you want to be with.
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I have no idea how I missed this going down but good god that's so fucking nasty. That poor wife!
I’ve thought the same ??
Jesus, at 22 you don’t need permission to see a doctor, if you’re contemplating having sex you 100% should see a doctor and get birth control.
Maybe you can't, which is valid. But I def love both of my partners equally with all my heart.