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If you can't do anything as your wife is always “seeing the kids” there, perhaps a more extreme solution.
Move house. To somewhere you've never been or have little connection to. Obviously don't do it on a whim, but take a holiday there first for a couple of weeks. Even if you stay inside, it's a different place , without all the memories.
The saddest thing in the world is a parent burying their child. Youve done it 3 times. To me, just you both being alive, shows how truly strong you both are.
I'm not sure how much it will help, but you could look into EMDR therapy for PTSD. Ive been through it myself, and it helped me more 5han I thought possible (after my 4yo daughter was hit by a car 2ft in front of me).
Don’t wait
I think we must date extremely different men and be very different people then. all of my past boyfriends have been obsessed with me and I've never had to ask them to notice that I looked good. maybe I'm finally dating one of the guys that everyone else seems to date, because this is very different to the many relationships I've had before.
She’s not a raging alcoholic from how it’s described. Looks like it’s only on weekends. I’m not saying she’s not an alcoholic but in a different category
I'm not responding to him since I woke up, the last message I received is he's already at home. He's avoiding my messages last night about breaking up and that we're done. Is he complacent or assured that we will still continue this relationship after that?
A boundary is not something someone puts on you. It is something you set for yourself. He can ask you not to go – or say that he will not move forward in the relationship if you do, but please do not cave simply because you see this as a reasonable boundary.
This is controlling behavior and that whole mindset is dripping with “I own her and don't want other men to see her unless I can show them she belongs to me” vibes. I've been in a LTR for years now, we go away for the weekend sometimes, separately.
What are you going to do? Pass on a bachelorette trip when a close friend asks you to be at her wedding? Never go out to a crowded restaurant or bar without him because you'd have to tiptoe around something you are fully aware is a non-issue?
He has misogynistic limiting beliefs. Having fun with your friends is not hoeish behavior. It's normal. You should tell him you are setting a boundary for yourself. If he goes out without you, he's acting sketchy and you will leave him for being disrespectful. If he thinks that's unreasonable then tell him if he wants you to lose your independence he has to be willing to give up his.
I am mostly kidding about the above paragraph. Dump him sis. He wants to have control – I'd be pretty curious about whether or not he's insecure because his eye is wandering himself. People often project when they are thinking about cheating.