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Whether or not its an entirely healthy response depends on quite what he means by it, i.e. what you were talking about.
I'd been raised by Boomers who didn't want me to be Nixon, basically, telling me “just be honest, just be yourself, just do the right thing” as though all of those were exactly the same. I had to be told as an adult (in therapy) about “circles of trust” because I was lonely, basically, and my one move was to run up to anyone who would give me the time of day and start telling them my life story. To me, there was just the truth, which I supposedly knew because I supposedly looked for it, and I just had to open my mouth and start telling it. The idea that I should have a “filter” at all didn't really occur to me (outside of talking about, like, going to the bathroom or talking about sex or something–things I recognized as explicitly private.)
The little diagram of “circles of trust” my therapist showed me has yourself in the middle, and you draw a circle around that, and then there's a longtime partner or spouse, maybe a parent or a sibling or close friend, and you draw a circle around that, and then there's just regular friends and a close coworker or something and you draw a circle around that, and there's acquaintances and normal coworkers, you draw a circle around that it's like strangers and maybe you don't have to draw a circle around that anymore because there's no one you trust less than someone you've never met before.
The thing I'm saying is this is probably an oversimplification in that it's probably not that static–people move in and out of your circles of trust depending on what you're talking about. There might be things you'd talk to even a regular coworker about that you wouldn't tell your partner or spouse–“trade secrets” and the like.
And there are things you'd tell a friend but not a partner, e.g. if you're attracted to someone else, you're thinking about your ex, etc. I suppose if it's a man/woman thing, someone might have, like, “girly” things they talk about with their female friends that they wouldn't talk about with their boyfriend. Maybe if your boyfriend liked a more serious, “grown up,” even somewhat formal and business-like tone to his romantic relationship, I could see that–saying things that are more straight-ahead funny and fun and silly are things to talk about with a friend, maybe. I'm not saying it's for everyone–I'm just saying I could see someone saying that.
My over-arching point is it's generally not the thing to do to try to look for times to just open your mouth and let whatever's on your mind fall out–you've always got to, like, “consider your audience” or whatever, stuff from English class in school. “The Rhetorical Triangle” and things.
I actually hold myself in pretty high regard, but thanks. I feel like this was just a lot of buzz words without any real meaning, if I'm being honest it didn't make much sense. Perhaps I'm just not understanding what you're trying to say
Best advice, just focus on building your career and self esteem. Don't feel demoralized by them. My ex of 20yrs ago is bothering me I'm not giving her a chance after she told me she wanted to see ppl. Life is showing her miracles now she remembers me.
You agreed to some kinds of cheating with no way to monitor the actual extent of it. Then, you were lied to about the actual extent of it. Ultimately, however, something or other happened that your wife finally regretted.
The question now, it seems to me, is, What does she want next? Does she still have enough of a commitment to you and to your daughter for this relationship to be worth trying to save? How much more of this are you willing to put up with, and, realistically, what are your other options?
you can’t control his actions, he can, if he cheats on you he’s a shitty human being and you should leave him. Tell him what’s your boundary, and he should respect it. If he absolutely want a threesome then y’all are not compatible and you should move on
I think you are right, and I need help to determine how to navigate my feelings about this. I have avoided my feelings lately with distractions so that I can make it to the next day, but when I think about how I want to end it, I feel like I do not take myself seriously so I only postpone it. My feelings are all over the place and I could use some advice.