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Doesn't sound like a very good best friend, bro.
You use your what-ifs in the conversation with husband. His instinct was to immediately dismiss and find a lame excuse. I have been blackout drunk way too many times in younger days but I NEVER pulled some bullshit like that. It's an excuse and was NOT ok. He touched you inappropriately, crossed lines, cheated in a way and I'm sure was not as drunk as they claim.
As for the hugs, if it happens again after you and hubs talk, simply put your arm/hand up to maintain distance if he's coming towards you and flat out say “I am not comfortable with hugging you” and that needs to be respected. If he's coming from another angle just side step instead.
Quite frankly, hubs should be going low or no contact with Travis but I'm going to guess that won't happen. Shoot I had a boyfriend years ago who remained best friends with and continued to invite over the guy that pinned me on the ground and punched the crap out of my face. Never even got an apology(not that it would have fixed things). They're still friends doing the same lower stuff but I'm out here kicking life's butt!
You deserve so much better ?
If he’s acting this way he’s the last person who should have a gun and the powers that be know it.
I'll ask the question that I haven't seen yet: why can't he buy a gun himself? What'd he do?
Yeah it probably is. And Well… yes HAHA my keyboard is danish, and sometimes it just makes the word capitalized and i cant be bothered to correct it everytime
There are two things to do on the path forward here
1) you ignore it. Your past is your past, no changing it, so might as well own it. If you’re ashamed of it, all it will do is allow people to have power over you. You’ll get plenty of comments here about how purity culture is wrong and you can fuck as many people as you want and no one should care, but that doesn’t help you. In reality, some people will care and some won’t. Your boyfriend knows your past and chose to be with you anyways, so clearly he doesn’t care about it. If he’s the one making you happy, and he clearly isn’t holding this over your head, why are you beating yourself up?
2) your boyfriend needs to handle this. They’re his friends, commenting on his choices. This is not something you need to be involved in past a “hey, your friends are talking shit about me and I don’t want to spend time with them. You are free to make your own choices, but I don’t want to associate with people who are actively trying to hurt me and our relationship”. If he handles it, great. If he chooses top his friends, the relationship was going to fail anyway and you got out early.
That nagging feeling that your partner is scheming behind your back never goes away. People say you can rebuild trust but I don't think that's true. You just glue it back together but it's not the same at all.
You're young and it's the perfect time to learn that a relationship should be fun, adventurous and a little boring. It should not be mentally exhausting stress. 10 years could go by and you still won't trust your partner.
First, let your gf know her mom texted u. Second, go on the trip, you don't need their permission. Third, try and move in together with your gf!