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I feel this is the truth. But you know, it's almost surreal when someone you know for a long time and who never did anything bad, just suddenly actually does bad things. Like you almost wonder if they did it by mistake, because it seems off-character. But I guess that facts are facts.
Honestly I don’t blame your sister in law. The numerous reasons line leads me to believe that there are repeat incidents of this behavior. And you know what, sometimes an apology doesn’t fix everything. She didn’t have to accept your apology. It sounds like this must have been a huge crush to your ego and a turning point. You realize not everybody will just forgive you immediately or that you needed to make a change and you got sober. Thanks SIL.
The invitation really isn’t about you? Why invite you at all? A bunch of reasons. The main reason is that her and your boyfriend are super close and it is considered rude in most places to invite one without the other. It could also be an olive branch to see if you took her words to heart. She doesn’t know you are sober. So this isn’t an attack or anything. If you want to extend an olive branch back I would send her a brief text explaining the situation.
Really the person you need advice on is your boyfriend here. He should be respecting your sobriety.
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Yeah. Sit your daft husband down and read him the damn riot act. Explain that, in order to alleviate his genuine concern about your 'pathetic' career chpices, he's now welcome to stay home, whilst you return to accountancy. Failing that, he can figure out how much to pay a nanny and a housekeeper, whilst you return to school, to study whatever he believes would be better than that.
Failing that, you could just explain, with diagrams, why he's an utter embarrassment of a moron.
It sounds like your husband raped your sister who was unable to consent.
So me personally, I work as a mental health technician at a psych ward and am also in clinical psychology graduate school. I completely understand “me time” but I am also poor lol I think this issue could be resolved through communication, as most issues here. Could you buy a 6 pack or 12 pack or whatever and drink it while you watch your fave show each night? Could he take care of pets while you do this? If no pets, could you go to a different room to decompress? Do you online in a complex that has a pool or park you could walk down to so as to cut the costs of going out but still have your pint after work? I get his perspective, is he ok with giving you alone time at home though so you get the same mental time away as you do at the bar? I feel like there are other solutions not being explored here when you could essentially have your cake and eat it too.
He hasn't shown any interest in being on time or communicating with you because he doesn't respect you enough to put in the effort. You are correct, breaking up is the only solution. He will never change because he doesn't view other people / other people's time as important to him.