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So my wife (F25) has a 50B on her that I (m33) had put in place after she showed up at my dads house unannounced in may of this year and proceeded to hit me on front of my parents. We were separated for 5 months starting in January. Due to previous emotional abuse. We got back together and moved into her grandmothers house in July and having been living together since. Since we have gotten back together she has attempted to strangle me, hit me and slapped me on multiple occasions. I have begged and begged her to stop and make positive changes for herself and our kids. I know eventually she will treat them the way she does me. I think the best course of action I can do at this point is move on so it forces her to come face to face with herself and whatever is causing her rage. However, She is emotionally black mailing me and saying it will be my fault for destroying the kids lives and tearing our family apart. I feel guilty but I’m also numb. She begged me back and promised to change in June and she was the nicest most loving person for about two months. Then she started backsliding. And I don’t think I can give her another chance.
TLDR: I am a male victim of domestic abuse and need to know if abusers ever change in a relationship or if I should move on and leave my wife.
You're 20 and also 22?
He blocked you, Spamela
Find the rare guy that doesn't want sex that much.
Shes doing all the things that she should to better herself, and seems to have enough control not to create problems for you with her illness. BPD isn't a death sentence for relationships. The question is whether or not you have the emotional energy to support someone that will need extra care and consideration.
You can break up with someone for any reason. It wouldn't automatically make you an asshole, however if I was her and knew you were struggling with this dilemma, it would make me question your love and commitment to me.
Ask her what she's scared about? It could be the age difference, or it could be you'll be gone a lot being in the airline industry.
Well No.
You pay for your school and stuff, and you make him pay for his, if he don't have the savings then that us his issue.
Don’t wake people up at 4am because they’re not kissing you. They’re sleeping. You knew you were annoying so why are you surprised that he’s annoyed?
And your timeline makes no sense btw.
You have a job, you are an adult, what prevents you from living on your own?
Your BF and his family helped you when you were in a bind, that's honorable and you should forever be grateful, however they do not get to dictate your future.
Take some time to think, make your financial calculations and if you can afford your freedom, then go for it.
You've got to let her know that she needs to get a job so that the two of you can work towards a new house together. So she disagrees so what. She's just starting a fight to get you off the issue. And let her cry. That is also just a tactic. But above all, say it.