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Whichever of them it was, they're in the wrong. They violated you. That's worth torching any relationship you may have over.
He’s gonna deflect, blame, and probably gaslight her
Don’t walk away, run! And hire a financial planner so YOU will have a secure future.
I yell and swear at my wife, but at least I don’t call her names anymore. If you feel she is all you have, why are you treating her like that? You should really look into more therapy and both of you need to find time to stress release whether it’s together or separately. I can’t imagine the stress both of you are under, but it’s just that. Both of you are under a lot of stress… you don’t get to take it out on her.
Why are you bothered? Why do you think it's ok to dictate how she dresses?
No no, I certainly agree with you. I majorly messed it up, there’s no two ways about it. I guess what I want to know is how best to heal things with her?..
The possibility of them having a platonic sleepover is about as realistic as the Easter Bunny. You snooped because you felt something was off. If it gets to a point where you need to snoop to get clarity, then why even worry about going further with the relationship?
Well, I think he shouldve told u in the beginning. From what I have seen from 90 day Fiance The other way here in the US. He has all feeling & is capable after surgery & gf is happy with it. If ur not attracted, ur not, nothing u can do about that. I think wanting an answer as to if he is planning to do it or not is understandable.
So, you tolerate all her bullshit but you dont sleep with her anymore… are you an idiot?
Grow some balls and cut all ties, this time for good.
OP you are getting some absolutely terrible advice on this thread from people who clearly don’t know much about sexual assault.
If her vagina was sore to the point where she was walking funny, that definitely points to assault. If the person who examined her, as you stated, believes she has injuries to her privates consistent with sexual assault, they probably know what they’re talking about more than Reddit commenters who have had a bad experience with cheating in their past.
As for your other questions: a girl who is confused and scared may absolutely ask someone who may have raped her for directions. 1) She is still processing what the hell happened. 2) When girls are scared and want to protect themselves from a possibly dangerous man, the MOST common way to do this is to avoid angering him, appease, and act like nothing’s is wrong while removing yourself from that situation.
Think of it in another way: he wakes up after hearing her phone call to you. What is she gonna do? Scream at him that he raped her? Attack him? Try to flee, indicating that she knows something fucked up happen, which would scare him into possibly attacking her to keep quiet? Her approach was the safest thing she could do, and this is how many girls through a lifetime of de escalating situations with men for their own safety learn to act.
As for why she didn’t want you in the room when describing a traumatic and violating experience for her…most people would like to share that with as few others as possible. It doesn’t mean she’s hiding anything.
Now, on getting blacked out, from someone who has been roofied but thankfully had better friends and avoided this situation: blacked out/drugged doesn’t mean incapacitated. It means you’re not forming memories and not in control of your actions though. And susceptible to persuasion.
I lost six hours of my life, and according to everyone around me, I seemed tipsy and fun but they never even remotely suspected I might be blacked out. I know I was roofied cause though I drink socially frequently, I’ve never blacked out in my life, and that particular day I stop remembering anything after my second drink.
Was apparently dancing with people sexually (don’t remember), talked to a whole bunch of our friends half the night I never remember coming to the bar, and walked 10 blocks on a freezing NY winter night from the bar to my dorm with my roommate, and don’t remember any of it. If the guy is a neighbor, it’s probable they all just walked back together and he took her up with him.
When you are drugged, it’s not like being tipsy. You don’t do things that you would wanna do anyway but are inhibited from doing it. Your brain is literally off. You are not capable of any decisions.
This has happened to so many girls I know. One could have been me. Please extend her some grace and benefit of the doubt. She may really need it right now.
Call your local women’s shelter & ask them for help on how to leave your relationship. They will help you prepare to do it without alerting your husband.
I like quoting Phoebe from Friends: “I need to on-line in a land where people can spill”.
Not exactly related, but I always view it as: mistakes happen. I can’t be with someone where I’m afraid to make mistakes/spill/break things. There’s obviously a distinction of being careless, but you shouldn’t be afraid to mess up sometimes.
Well, mine was fairly low maintenance. I suppose a website could be put together quickly by anyone that know how, maybe her, a friend or family member. Some women pre plan out their whole wedding b4 finding the guy. Could be she had a venue in mind b4 he proposed.
Your Ex-Boyfriend's kid sounds like a jerk