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So hear me out, compromise ?
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No need to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Your sister needs in patient help. Your sister needs help that you can’t give her.
I told them about ONE of the things he did that really worried me, but kept most of it private. IDK why I would protect him. I think im ready for civil court and criminal if it gets to that. I am gonna start calling lawyers.
This is basically how my spouse and I got together (minus the animosity with the ex, that was peaceful) and tbh it was less of a “I'm finally cured of my codependency and can now be in a relationship” and more of a “I've just learned about something that's affected all of my past relationships, and this person shares that experience, and because we see something rare and tender in the other, we want to learn to be better alongside one another. If that means taking things slow and learning it ISN'T a rejection and they hate me.”
I think two people starting out with the shared self awareness and goal of unpacking their baggage is more likely to be successful than one that's superficially based on what comfort you can pull out of the other person. Obviously people aren't always aware of where they are on that spectrum, and there can be bumps, but if you put in the nasty and uncomfortable work it needs, you can end up with something REALLY COOL.
Her fears trump your kinks homie. First rule of anything in kink is mutual consent, not wearing them into submission.
How is this even acceptable to you? This is gross and honestly hold yourself and your guy more accountable – there’s NO word in which me going to my girl’s place and not brushing at night and in the morning is acceptable
And that is better than what he said to her? This is why people can’t get along
There is absolutely no point in being a couple with this asshole. Make it a single, you’ll be better off and gain some self respect. Happy Birthday, make this year better for yourself.
Forgiven ? I guess I don’t know what happened and I know I don’t want to be divorced. He claims to love me . I just don’t wNt to believe anything else . It’s not black and white. There are so many other factors. It’s not all about me or us it’s what he is going through, childhood trauma, loss of parent, age? idk I’m so fucking lost. I just want to be happy . i’m
No you shouldn't, but neither should fight him for it. He is a waste of your time. It would be best for you to leave him.
To me cheating is cheating, but I might give someone a second chance if I believe it wouldn’t happen again. It being a girl is almost worse because she has so many friends who like to go out, and of course if you stay together it’s important that you regain your trust for those times she’s at friends houses and drinking is involved. Personally I’d ask her to stop being friends with Amanda completely. Hopefully her friends like her enough to agree to hold gatherings without Amanda at least half the time. The other thing I strongly suggest would be no more than 2-3 drinks in a night. And you might as well agree to the same limit (maybe 3-4 if you are a big guy who holds liquor very well), so that you don’t revenge cheat one drunken night.
You need to find other interests and other people to interact with. For better or worse, real life means that our romantic partners can't be the only thing in our lives. Whether it's work, kids, other family obligations or just hobbies and activities, there will always be reasons why we can't be with our partners 24/7. So maybe use this forced separation to try to adapt to what your later life will bring you (assuming both you and this guy are healthy, productive people).