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Please focus on you and your future or you won’t have one.
Why not? Assuming OP isn't stupid enough to incriminate herself, if he gets arrested or killed it doesn't have any practical effect on her. Losing her partner would suck but life goes on.
It’s good to set a boundary – to not talk about her past. So perhaps you’ve already asked the key questions and she told you but further than that it’s best not to delve into it anymore. You may have curiosity or maybe you don’t but it’s pointless and won’t make you feel any better to hear details. On her side she should respect your boundaries and be sensitive to that. Possibly the info she shared shocked you and it’s not just because of your lack of previous experience compared to hers maybe it’s the idea of her having these casual hookups making you feel uncomfortable because you’re not someone who has viewed sex in that way as in you haven’t had casual hookups so you can’t relate to that and maybe it feels like the image you have of her and what you have known of her in your relationship doesn’t match what she described or told you. I genuinely think the way people share info about past relationships etc is key as it needs to be done sensitively. If you trust her and feel that she is loyal to you exclusively then you have nothing to worry about for the future. It’s most likely imagining her past that is the problem and talking to her and being honest about how you feel may help as she may reassure you with her responses and you may be able to have a sense of closure and acceptance about what you know. The main thing is that she doesn’t go into details though.
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>she says “I know I’m sorry. You just need to be telling me no.”
One of the ways to improve communication in one's relationship is to listen when the other person tells you the best way to communicate something to them. If you do try communicating how you're instructed, and it backfires, though, definitely a red flag. She's 23, though, it's ok to let her be responsible for her own self – that's where most people start figuring that out. Assuming her best intentions in all this, your behavior might be a crutch to her.
Originally she only need two night to let things cool off but the she just stayed longer until it became weeks and decided to stay
I'd either RSVP for both of us or just not attend.
He showed you how he thinks. Believe him.
Maybe try this: “I'm looking forward to moving in together and our future. I want to let you know I don't see myself having biological kids. Fostering and adoption sound like good options to me. Have you given this much thought?”