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I would run far away from her. People who cheat never change especially if they did it multiple times in a relationship. And on top of that she only comes clean BCS the guy forced her to tell otherwise she would've just kept it a secret
Eh its happened now, you told ger eventually, tell her you'll make sure not to hide in the future, take her on a nice date to make up for it. We all make mistakes its human nature. If its meant to be then itll last if not cut your losses and move on bro
Usually people who cheat, and stay in the relationship, use the fact that they have cheated before to justify more cheating. So there is that to consider.
If she is so convinced of his infidelity then she needs to take actions now and divorce. She should start to get her ducks in a row if that’s how she feels. Spying is not the answer. Sorry your brother got screwed but it’s his own fault for not securing his finances.
What happens when and if he’s not cheating?? How do you think husband would feel? That would be enough for me to divorce my partner right there- spying.
If she’s at the point of literally spying on her husband then the marriage is essentially over and the trust is gone. It’s better she spends her time and energy on getting a divorce and separating finances and making sure kids are safe, and taken care of.
This is really weird. I imagine if you and he got married, she'd be sleeping in the middle between you.
Look, just tell him: I want to go on an actual date with you, without a chaperone!
Mom needs to get a life – of her own – and you need a boyfriend, not a mom-and-son duet.
You aren’t understanding the problem here. If you even mention them there is a possibility they’ll think; “ohhh awesome, they have a kid, that’s even better! I’ll butter the mom up and act like the best guy she’s ever met so that I can some day have access to meet and abuse that child”
Children of Single mothers who are dating are the number one risk factor for being sexually and physically abused; it just isn’t worth it putting them at risk like that until you know the person a little better and even then, you have to be insanely cautious.
I’m not saying to wait a year to tell the person you’re dating, but a month and a handful of dates is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to wait to tell someone. Worst thing that’ll happen is they break up because they don’t want to be in a relationship with a woman who has kids, that’s preferable to the risk of telling them right away.
Your wife sounds incredibly inconsiderate and self-involved. It’s perfectly understandable that you were tired and not in a social mood when just getting home from a long day at work – especially when she hadn’t even given you a heads up about having company over. In fact, she’s the one lacking manners, leaning her guest alone in the living room so that she could go harass you certainly made the guest feel uncomfortable and awkward while she probably wasn’t even phased by the fact that you went to lie down. Your wife owes you an apology. I think you need to express to her that you are tired and need to wind down for a while after work, and if she’s going to have company over during the week and expects you to help her entertain them, then she needs to check with you first. She can’t just spring someone on you and expect you to play host after working all day. This is just basic courtesy- even among roommates.
2 weeks 20 years ago? I’d struggle to even count that as dating. An affair 15 years ago, which has long been forgiven by all parties? I…don’t see the issue? I mean at his age, he will have a past. I am going to hazard a guess, that he is not the same person that he was 15 years ago. I damn hope, I am, or I shouldn’t be driving.
If his last relationship failed because of cheating or there was a pattern, then I’d get it, but your reaction to ancient history seems a little weird to me. I’m not too sure I remember who I dated for 2 weeks 20 years ago.
False accusations are the majority, not sure how that's “super rare” for you, they are on the opposite ends of the scale.
I know how to have a 10+ year marriage and it's by picking your battles and letting go of small shit like this.
You can't. You can't control your parents. All you can do is protect yourself, and if that means going no contact with them while you work on yourself, that's what you do.
What exactly is the upside to dating this dismal man?
I mean, yeah, it's kinda weird. The fact that she straight up said she wants to live! through you is weird af. Sounds like jealousy but also like she's dependent on you and kind of possessive. I think I'd have to cut her off
I like you, you are very wise.
I think all this boils down to the manner in which she removed herself. If she did it without causing a scene, without “sulking”, then yeah it's healthy. If she's did anything to cause a scene, to cause the environment to become uncomfortable and tense, that is unhealthy. Ignoring toddlers being friendly seems pretty unhealthy imo.