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  1. Update: (sorry if this is a bit disorganized) We talked, and she was more eager than I was to explain herself, after giving me space. She hand-wrote a breakdown of her feelings as well, as it was one of the easier ways to explain them. I read it, she admitted that she was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder…I was unaware of this.

    Says that she has used Omegle to “emotionally dump” on random strangers through “role play”(?) and then ditch said strangers when she feels better about her mental state. Does this under extreme stress or episodes of depression. This is the third occasion, not always men but women as well. Always random from Omegle and she keeps her anonymity. Has been doing this ever since she stopped going to therapy, almost as a substitute (I knew about the therapy already). She has stated that this is extremely shitty as a person (as well as to me overall) and that being caught was the best thing for her, was a wake up so to speak.

    This all tracks with the small amount I have read from the most recent anonymous conversation. I explained to her that she seems to shift the blame to these (new to me) depression and ED, if it’s even true. But what doesn’t track is the heavy flirting and sometimes sexual nature of the conversations. You don’t need to talk about your “kinks” if you are venting, that’s bullshit.

    She has broken my trust, so I am taking everything with a grain of salt that is being said. I have accepted that this is 100% emotional cheating and so does she and is extremely ashamed.

    I have been physically cheated on in the past and walked in on it, instantly felt anger, and cut it off that instant. This is different for me emotionally, maybe as it very mild on the ‘cheating spectrum’. I am more disappointed, not angry. For everyone saying I should break up with her, I am reluctant too. She moved across states to be with me, and we have been everywhere together and invested so much time in each other. She is my best friend and we have always been a team. My mind keeps going to healing and forgiveness, but I am not ready to forgive her just yet.

  2. Honestly it sounds like he has some serious mental health issues. But isolating his entire family is abusive and there is no excuse for it. He needs to see a therapist about his obsession with covid and I think you need to see a couple counselor as well

  3. just for the heck of it

    It's not just for the heck of it though? It's because she's unable to support herself and he wants and is able to help.

    lie around and don’t do anything

    Honestly yes, she could be a better guest and I wouldn't like her not helping with chores etc. That's not really your business though, that again is something her host (which again, is not you) decides whether or not they're ok with.

    And do you know that she will 'lie around and do nothing' when she gets to the point where she can apply for jobs? No, you don't

  4. My advice is to not go out with her. In the last year, with the help of therapy, it sounds like you were able to find peace (of sorts) with what happened. Dating her is going to bring up a lot of stuff from the past that you've put much time and effort into being at peace with. It seems like inviting an unnecessary drama into your life. Sometimes, the past should stay the past.

  5. Just end it.

    Alcohol doesn’t change what you want to do, it just removes some of the barriers.

    So she wanted to kiss (or more) the other guy. Shes all upset etc now because she knows she royally screwed up. So it’s time for her to face the consequences of her actions, and that is that you dump her.

    If you make her cancel her trip, she will resent you, which is likely to push her into situations where, guess what, she will cheat on you again.

  6. Bro, leave. She’s way too immature and doesn’t really have feelings for you and you’ve got hella anxiety and trust issues. Tbh neither of you should be in a relationship much less with eachother

  7. I’m so sorry your are in this situation.

    You have to remember, you can only help those who help themselves.. who WANT to change and help themselves.

    Your mother has shown time and again that Her words and actions do not match. Her actions show that this path is what she wants. I’m afraid you have to accept that, and let go of her. You got your brother out. You did a wonderful thing by helping him. Your mother made her choice. Now, it’s time to focus on the people who chose you- your brother, wife and child.

    It’s an incredibly painful thing but you made the right decision.

  8. Am i invasive or is she overreaching boundaries?

    I read the idea that people can forbid their partner to meet other people, saying it makes them uncomfortable, before …and I don't get it.

    In this case your wife has no friends where you on-line and problems connecting to the people there, and you just say her bad, and than she just has to cope with having no friends or start being friends with people she doesn't connect with (wich does make one feel quite uncomfortable) because you're comfortability counts more than her.

    So – why? Maybe you believe that every other guy is better than you, while your wife is everyone's dream (and in need of a relationship) , and therefore her getting closer to a man would inevitable lead to her leaving you for him. Or Maybe you have reasons you didn't mention in this post to not trust her. But I still think working this out is better than trying to restrict your wife (do you also police what she is allowed to wear?)

    If a partner of mine would try that, I would consider it a huge red flag.


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