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OP – I can only say show her these replies, from women who are posting. It's all you can do.
Thank you for the good luck! Appreciate it.
Thankfully were not super LDR, we see each other at least one every two weeks because I come down to visit him and family. But it's definitely tough!
I think my main problem is I don't have time to see my friends when I visit because I'm busy with him and family, and then when I'm back to my uni town I don't have any friends around, gets lonely.
Will join a club now though thanks to advice I got here!
Never fancied a woman in my life but my porn viewing history is almost 100% girl on girl
Oh wow that’s a lot but you’re right. Some ppl will do anything for a place to live and he’s never been homeless so I’m sure that scared him. I would never put him on the streets but at this point if it keeps going like this, I fear that will be my only option.
Block this person. Lose them as an SO. If they continue to harass you, invoke any relevant stalking laws.
First of all, I just want to say that I feel sorry you are going through such a difficult time and that I’m sure you’re completely shattered by what has happened. You are seeking advice because you are struggling with your emotions on the situation because you still have love for your wife but can’t understand what to do with knowing she isn’t the person you thought she was. That’s just it, she isn’t who you thought she was. Now, your reality is something different than it was. I’m sure you feel like you can’t trust yourself even because you thought she was someone different who would have never been capable of hurting you this bad. You have to move on. You have to find trust in yourself again. Then you have to rebuild your self into a better person. Once you fall in love with your self again, you will be able to traverse into another relationship that will be worthwhile. I’m sorry but this will be difficult. It will also be worth it. Good luck.
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My recommendation is not care so much about social media
OP, I suggest you take a break from him for 2 – 3 weeks. See if he starts to tslk to these other girls on the pretence of you guys are 'on a break'.
If he does, then you know he is not for you.
it could also be he plans things around your plans that he may not mention. private time, amongst other things. hopefully he's not using the time around your plans to be malicious, but it's always a possibility.
Eerrrm.
Ok, there’s a difference between friendly and platonic; they’re not the same. I can be friendly with co-workers and friendly to acquaintances since being friendly is to form a bond of some level that is on the positive side. One can be friendly without being platonic.
Platonic is love. A platonic relationship is someone who loves someone else in a non-sexual, non-romantic, non-familial way but it is still love and like any kind of love it hurts very badly when it is over.
Now not saying this woman felt a platonic bond with your husband. It sounds as tho he may have been forming a platonic bond with her, realized that he was wrong since it can lead to emotional affairs (sounds like it did in this case) and then backed off. She could have had a platonic bond with him or she may have developed romantic feelings for him.
It sounds as though she is looking for closure. It may be because he never really talked about your feelings to her. She may be clueless that anything they were doing was causing you stress.
I was in that position once; platonic bond and thought everything was ok because he told me everything was. Then I learned differently and blocked him on everything. Did it hurt? Heck yes! He saw me through some rough months. But I loved him enough to know that if our friendship continued his wife would be hurt more and our friendship wasn’t worth her pain. She didn’t deserve that despite my friend telling me not to worry about her.
Regardless your husband’s friend should take the hint and not text anymore. He needs to block her. It is good that he recognizes that he needs to prioritize his family and I hope your husband recognizes the emotional impact to you and appreciates it. Because if he doesn’t then, well, history has a way of repeating itself when we don’t understand the impact of our mistakes.
True that! I still think it could be porn.. but who knows. He has videos of us and we have sex once a day or every other day..sometimes even multiple times a day haha, so I don’t know what else would make him happy.
Run
Won't let you?
I can tell my wife what I like, what I think suits her, make suggestions but I never have the right to tell her what she can and cannot do with her hair.
There’s nothing I can do to bring us closer anymore. He says that he’s not truly in love with me anymore. That some of it is left but just not enough. He’s focused on school, and I’m sure if someone gave him the time of day he’d pursue but he says he has no interest in any relationship for a while.
I don’t intend to fuck other guys, but even if I did, he says “if it makes you happy, than do it” he seems to care, but like his feels towards me, “just not enough.” He doesn’t tell me not to see other guys. And I don’t think he’s monogamous at heart. So I don’t think he’s shocked by the idea of us fucking other ppl and getting back IF we ever wanted to do that.
There’s zero chance of us getting back right now. It would have to be after these 4 months and after some time has passed in my new place. I imagine minimum 1 year apart.
I think he’s too busy, and a little immature to be able to appreciate me right now. And our past arguments bc of those exact reasons have just pushed him away further.
But ty for your advice/comments