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It sounds like you've been through a lot of heartbreak and it's understandable to feel hurt and exhausted. Don't think that you are not deserving of love or that something must be wrong with you–you said yourself that the women in your past relationships have told you as much.
That being said, it may be beneficial to look inwardly at this situation to reflect on how your actions might be affecting the outcome of these relationships. Are there any patterns in your behavior (e.g., trying too very hot, becoming too attached too quickly) which could be contributing towards why these relationships did not work out? If so, then it would be helpful for you to gain some insight about those behaviors and learn how to better manage them moving forward.
Above all else, remember: You Matter! Your feelings are valid and deserve tending to with care and understanding for yourself. It is important for you make sure that when entering into a new relationship (should one come along), keep in mind boundaries and develop healthy communication habits from the start so that no one gets hurt further down the line unintentionally or otherwisewise. Take time now focus on taking care of yourself – this will help put things into perspective in due time
I, obviously, don't know the in's and out's of your relationship but it's pretty telling to an outside perspective that it's been NINE years and two kids and he's still only your boyfriend. No commitment. You and your children are no one's consolation. You deserve better.
Your mom is a piece of shit. My mom was a piece of shit, too. I’m in my 40’s. The pain never really goes away. The pain of her choosing someone or something else. If you were to read any of the letter that I wrote to her on her recent birthday, your skin would peel. Here’s what has helped me: Surrounding myself with people who aren’t pieces of shit, and who value me for me. It doesn’t take away the pain so much as give me a reason to resist, fight, and ultimately embrace the pain. I’ll never have the mom that I wanted or deserve. What I have: A wife who loves me despite me being an ass. Friends who play Fuckin’ nerd games with me despite only being casually interested. Kids who are doing great things in the arts (This one is naked for me because I show up when my parents didn’t and it took me time and therapy to not resent my own kids for not realizing how good they have it), a team at work who are super tight, brothers who are also best friends. I still mourn the mother I never had. It still hurts. However, I’m not alone and neither are you. I wish you the best in your healing.
Many times
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I am going to therapy because of this and other girls in the past. But I still get mad out of nowhere like an explosion. Why would he provoke me?
Send him home and let him deal with the boys ALL weekend. He's not acting like a father or husband and may never. At least if you send him home, HIS parents can look after him and you'll get a break at the weekend.
You don't have to live! together just because you are married. This current situation is not fair on your kids or your parents whom I doubt wanted him to move in ,in the first place.
I'm sorry I'm “rare” in that way. If my kid got pregnant, I would do whatever is in my child's best interest. I personally don't think kids should be having kids. Tho I do understand physically going through an abortion is scary and traumatizing. I read a reddit post of this young girl who had an abortion and she was so traumatized that she no longer wanted kids
I didn't stutter
If she says no than accept that it’s a no from her. But don’t push away your own needs. It’s not fair to her if you just suck it up and stay because it’s what a good partner should.
IF you now needs kids to be happy, you need to be real about that.
If youre going to break up your family because your husband was shocked by his sisters revelation and sad to see his parents so upset and thus didnt react perfectly, I suggest you get off Reddit and these stupid echo chambers and reflect what kind of character you have. Not everyone reacts perfectly and automatically to things, particularly when their beloved parents are struggling. Oh but the parents are wrong, yes they are, so break up your family over that. Of course your husband will support his sister. Jesus Christ, what self righteous tools in this place
Good grief, what a harrowing tale. I'm so glad your brother has you in his life.
As a parent, it's your job to protect your children from monsters, your mom failed in that basic role, I'm happy that you're not going to follow the example that she set.
You've made all the right decisions here.
Unfortunately, I don't hold out much hope for your mother ever being rid of this scumbag.
Please talk to a lawyer and get rid of the bum!
You are not the problem in this relationship!