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As a married man and one who does the majority of everything. I understand how your fiancé may be upset if you guys aren't sleeping together. One thing that I have witnessed in most of not all of my relationships is that when couple first get together they have sex a lot. As time goes on the sex becomes less frequent and usually it's the woman who wants it less. Men for the most part feel love through being intimate together while in my past relationships my partners have felt love through emotional connection. You need to understand his love language. Which may be physical touch. We feel love through sex as we feel that is a time when it's just us. We are the lucky person who gets to have sex with you. Most men think and believe that sex should be important. We become more physically and emotionally attracted by sex. And when we don't get it. We feel inadequate. We feel less important. The fact that you're sick he should understand. But most men I know myself included feel that sex is an important part of the relationship
I wish this was in AITA
These people aren't worth your time. They met at your party, and announced their engagement there. Your friendship obviously doesn't mean that much to them to exclude you and talk behind your back instead of talking to you.
Honestly I think he is pretty rock-solid with all of his addiction recovery stuff. The charity even tonight is for a charity he's involved with that has to do with addiction. His dinner tonight is with his parents and his 3 siblings, which has also been a big source of help for him. His room mate is also a sober friend he has, and the guy he went to visit in Miami is sober and has a girlfriend. SO he does make strides in those departments.
but still, my spidey senses are tingling.
Obviously her car might be fine, its just a joke that people with bad salaries are the most likely to have shit cars, which is why I threw in an emoji. We obviously don't actually know one way or the other.
Well, you have a dynamic going on, so if you don’t stop your part, he’s gonna continue to do his part. What feels like caring and nurturing right now it’s gonna feel like controlling in a few years. I will tell you that. You’re a fully grown adult woman you don’t really need to have somebody tell you how to put your food on your plate.
See I don’t want that. I’m not expect this knight in shining armor right off the bat. Do I want to be Abel toy build towards this? Yes. This is for a lifetime not for someone to have in order for me to date them. I have these curtain standards for a reason. I didn’t just make this up because I felt like I deserved this…
So addressing the anger aspect. Let's just get some perspective. You volunteered to quit your golf. I'm assuming you thought it would be obvious to him that you were sacrificing something and the hurt comes from realizing he wasn't as focused on you as you'd have liked. But it was your decision. Your approach to informing your husband about the childcare was the right way to handle it, but honestly it was the right way to handle it initially when he signed up for bowling. It also works now, but you chose until after his championship to propose this. Waiting several weeks. I'm assuming these several weeks were accompanied by your anger and frustration over him bowling while you didn't get your hobby. Just own that this could have been avoided by addressing the childcare while you still had your hobby.
The reason your husband had the blank face was because as far as he knew, there were no problems, you approach to communicating them was to cause your self distress and hope he would notice and sacrifice of himself to solve your distress. This isn't a practical form of communication. It's not his fault you chose this form of communication.
But your telling him about the child care was a good form of communication. Just recognize that from his standpoint this was the beginning of the discussion not the end. So he's likely to think about it and propose a compromise. So don't feel offended that he might come back and suggest the sitter care come from the joint funds, not just his. He's just trying to work to a solution on what he now sees as a shared problem.
The key point I'm suggesting is just own what you could have done better and hoping someone notices your distress or your sacrifice is a poor way of communicating.
As for your work life balance, you sound really over worked. I don't know your finances and what is needed, but if you could find an approach that leaves you a little more decompression time I think that would be wise. Kids are great, being a parent is great, but you need some adult time too. By yourself and quite frankly with your husband.
That overlaps with these hobbies, but is more general advice.
What do I do?
For starters, why would you send a text to 2 people you live! with? I realize you had already started discussing it, but there was simply no reason to do this. And of course it doesn't help that it was all about the legal stuff. Sure, it was nice of you to say if they don't like the idea, you won't get the dog, but then that raises the question of why you'd be considering a service dog when it's not an absolute need.
The good news is, this is very fixable. Talk to them tonight. But carefully consider what exactly you want to say to them .
He said I could be hanging out with him instead. However that makes no sense as he’s playing online games in his gaming room. I don’t want to do that. I play online games myself and we play together at times. But I do not play r6 siege. I was sleepy, I didn’t intentionally lie to him. I never do, I just got interested in the movie.