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How can we help you?
No, I mean, really, how can we help, you?
What do you need?
It sounds like this man does have some sort of sex addiction disorder that he has not identified yet as a problem even though it ended his first marriage. There is a journey with getting through mental health issues and the first step is admitting it's a problem, the second step is wanting to change and the third step is starting to get some help, but he's not even on step one. It sounds like this thing is deeply rooted. I am so very concerned for you that you will continue to write out this roller coaster and when he finally does get help,, you will still play second fiddle to his penis, and even after that, he will toss you to the Wayside as he finds someone else to get enamored with now that he becomes a different person.
You wrote out a list with nearly 30 bullet points. You aren't happy. In fact, you look like you are so numb that you can't even fully process how unhappy you are. I know that you say that you don't cry, but it's because you are numb because that's how tired you are, you are living in a place of being constantly triggered and you are just doing what you need to do to mentally survive this trauma.
I am so, so sorry that your family is absolutely horribly worthless. Absolutely worthless. Nobody in their right mind would encourage their family member to get hitched to this absolute garbage fire of a man who accidentally trips very hot into other people's vaginas on a far too frequent basis.
I think that maybe this is the next step of your journey, what do you need?
And, why are you still here?
Feel free to think about it. You can reply to me even if it takes some time and I should still be here. I don't get private messages though.
In this day and age you want to have an office romance????
First your company may have a policy, read up on that.
Second consider how things might play out. Really game it all out, this is your employment, how a roof stays over your head and food ends up on your plate, if this goes sideways are you prepared for that?
Third if you haven't been dissuaded, think about the approach, if you are wrong and pursue him, if you decide to engage and halfway through you change your mind, if you get him to pursue you and it doesn't feel right. Hurt feelings can develop quickly.
Finally, if you are really intent on this please keep it off company property. You may love him putting his hand in your back pocket or whatever but your coworkers may not or worse may misinterpret that as sexual harassment. Just dont.
He got a girlfriend this year
No I graduated.
I agree with you.
I’m not saying he isn’t at fault or hasn’t acted badly.
I’m saying it’s not worthy of villainising him.
He absolutely should have checked in with you at some point, but until he does, you have no idea why he hasn’t… so if he’s indeed such a great guy, why not give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he has his reasons.
Equally, if you want to leave him over this, I don’t disagree, you’re an adult who can make your own decisions about who you date and how you expect your partner to act.
To me, his behaviour makes total sense, because if there’s nothing to check in and say, no update to give, then there’s nothing to say and no update to give….
It was wrong from moral point if view, but I don't expect it commonly understood by 18 year olds (they could understand it in general, but not when it applies to them).
Besides, even if 14and 18 maintain some form of “relation” it isn't grooming by itself. I assume he didn't get intimate with you until much later, or you would have mentioned it. Did he manipulate you into being together. This may not be an easy question for you two answer.
Did he push his feelings onto you, guilt tripping and gaslighting you, or was he just honestly interested in you, and respectfully gave you space to figure out your own feelings?
I am going to go out on a limb and say he watches the news. Chicago is being portrayed as being unsafe for normal people. Size is not going to matter when you are facing a mob.
Two new stories I have see today about Chicago have been. Walmart is shutting down locations due to looting and residential of Chicago build an app to let others know when a black mob is or has formed. This doesn’t include the crazy amount of memes and stuff I have seen about white people need to leave cities.
Jumping to the reality of the situation if you stay aware of your surroundings and don’t go out past 10pm or engage in illegal activities. Best not to wear flashy jewelry or anything that would make you stand out.
I tend to avoid major cities (NYC, ATL, CHICAGO and all of California when I can.
Best of luck and I hope this helps.
You are 19, and he is 27. I wouldn't expect him to be great at communication.