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Unfortunately I agree
Why are you trying to push her into having oral? You've made it all about you. She doesn't like it. Stop pushing her to let you. Oral for her is not about you. How would you feel if she pushed you to use a toy that you don't like?
She doesn't have to like oral. Even if she did, she doesn't have to have it every time if she doesn't want to. Her pleasure is all about her and what she likes, not what you decided she should like. This isn't a hill to die on. No one wants to be with someone who constantly pressures them into sex or a sexual act.
Bring her
Look, it's one thing for young people to be really excited about and eager to have sex. That's called being 19. But he told you that he only wants to see if you you're going to have sex, and that should tell you exactly how important you are to him. Use that information as you wish.
Honestly, sounds like the trash took itself out:
-He was grossed out by my body while pregnant -intimacy, affection and kindness has stopped completely – was told im a bad and unstable mother -I get nothing. -haven't had a good night of sleep for 7 months. -promised to take me to the beach but in the morning decided the drive was too long -told me I put in no effort and I'm fat now
Read these back, is this really the father you want for your children? The way you want to spend the rest of your life?
Every relationship can reach hard climatic points, challenges, and obstacles. And these situations require you to sit down, work together and find unity. Your husband, for 36, behaves like a petulent child.
You're better off without, 100%.
consider your next moves based on her responses.
I think this is an excellent way to go about it cause one of Tina's reply thus far has been along the lines of, “you can't expect me not to share things when stuck between two people.” It gives off tones of a selfish narrative that removes my trust of sharing when it's one of the most crucial parts of a relationship.
Why cant he just be curious? Without any thoughts like “lets check how faithful she is” or anything like that.
In his place i would have been just curious expecting nothing and just doing it., no deeper meaning. What does that mean?
Facts
Well he says he’s not gonna do anything but I overthink too much. I don’t wanna blame him for something he didn’t do or else I’d be toxic
She can't ask that of you period. Why not just use protection for now and concentrate on your relationship? It won't matter if you don't get back together, right? Don't bring it up.
You two may think you are fighting about birth control when you are not. Her demand is coercive. You cant force someone to have surgery as a precondition to trying to get back together. You know, as a sign of commitment to commit. What if you both decide not to renew the relationship? So I wonder what she really wants? The proof she requires as a sign of commitment is unreasonable.
Edit: clarification
Then as mentioned above, talk to the hotel about the situation and see if they will wave the cancellation fee. If not then unfortunately it looks like she'll have to lose the deposit.
Also, it might be a good idea that she keeps the plans of her trip to herself and stays off social media for the duration of her trip. For her own safety.