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That is a tough question.
My husband and I met in college… I was 20 and he was 19 on a baseball scholarship. I nearly worked FT while going to school FT.
When we graduated, we didn't have a single dime! Our 1st jobs paid ?. Now married almost 25 yrs (dated 5)… I lost count how many times our incomes have gone up and down from job changes from lay offs etc. He has always been a career latter climber…up the mgmt route making between 115k and nearly 200k where I have been just under 100k for 22 yrs at the same job. We have 1 son… I didn't stay home because I WANTED to work.
My point with sharing my story is that you both have to communicate openingly and honestly about what you want individually and as a couple. There will be compromising no matter what. It will always be a give and take IF you want to be together for many years to come or forever. You will have to literally jot down the pros and cons of each scenario… You would have 2 and he would 2…
One scenario focusing on career only and trying to have a long distance relationship and 2nd scenario you move to Florida and change jobs to be with him… How are the pros and cons of each of these scenarios?!
I would not want to be negative BUT if you moved and you were together and something changed between you, what would your backup plan be? Do you have a support system there? Same if you stay in NYC.
Now regarding your career you built… Have asked if you can be remote worker from Florida yet? I don't think it would hurt to ask that. Also… Your 6yrs is never lost you have that part of your resume forever and the next job could be even better.
It's all on how you and your BF communicate about what you each want.
Best wishes!
FUCK YOU
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Speaks to how enormously manipulative that guy was to set the scene with his fiancé to paint you as a psycho… so sorry you had to go though it and hopefully OP sees your comment and can get ahead of the guy. Because if he has a whole other apartment etc, he’s clearly very adept at lying to his family.
no. it is all yours.
​
but you can use it for common expenses, be it a dinner or a bill.
This is exactly how I was thinking of approaching this. I just can’t think of any reason where this is okay. The worst part is, I’ve confirmed with her in the past that “she doesn’t talk to Layla”. We’ve been friends for years and I just can’t fathom what made her think it was okay to do that and lie to me on top of that. I feel as if all trust is GONE.
I don’t disagree with you. But many times cheaters will claim that they still absolutely love their partners that they cheat on. Does it make sense? No. But the fact that this dude made out with her sister doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t love OP. He probably thought he’d get away with fucking around and OP would forgive him. But she did the smart thing and dropped his ass. Because like you said…cheating with a sibling or family member takes it to a while other level. But does does all of that have a bearing on his behavior now? Probably so. We will have to agree to disagree on whether he actually loved her or not. And before you say I don’t know what I’m talking about…I, too, despise cheaters. My ex was cheating with my best friend for most of our relationship. So, I feel your disdain.
okay that’s fair
Yeah I'm scared of that…I'd like to communicate that I'm willing to make that “sacrifice” to make him happy. I love him, we're really happy together, and it's just something I want to fix for him…
Sex isn't something I crave anymore, hormones and all, and I haven't felt that spark in a long long time and I've made my peace with it…but I don't want him to go without for my sake. He has never made me feel like he would resent me for the lack of sex, it's' something I do realize I'm imposing on myself…and I feel guilty about not having it fixed yet.
This should be at the top.
What?? Your significant other BREATHES??
DUMP THEM.
On the other hand, I freely admit that I think a lot of people should move on. Too many people get caught up in sunk cost fallacy.
Hiding what?
OP was watching his screen, and he gave her the phone when he was finished with whatever he was doing.