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7 thoughts on “Nika

  1. First, I think you should reevaluate any and all of her claims about what she was paying, saving, etc.

    My experience with people who chronically lie to embellish their standing in the eyes of others, is that many of the things they claim to you end up being lies.

    In other words, she likely wasn’t paying rent to her parents. She likely wasn’t contributing toward bills, she likely wasn’t “frugal”, she just had no money and therefore COULDN’T spend money because she didn’t have it.

    She probably was never close to getting a good paying job, either. She just told you that to get your hopes up and bug herself some more time.

    Just her treatment of your graciousness, and total disregard toward earning and paying her own way for the entirety of your relationship, tells you the likely story.

    She found someone who would buy her story, someone who would finance her lifestyle and transition, and not have to really worry about pushback.

    A nude worker, who is used to earning their way or contributing, isn’t going to suddenly become a taker, lazy, and content to let others support them.

    I know you don’t want to hear this, but you should be preparing for what almost certainly will happen, next.

    As soon as she realizes her free ride is over, that she must now invest SOMETHING into this, herself, she’s gone. You will suddenly be the enemy, and the one to blame for her problems.

    Conveniently, her “mental health” will suddenly deteriorate, you will be blamed and you’ll likely feel guilty and give in to further support, at which time she’ll be finding the next person to support her.

    What the totality of her actions have shown is that she simply does not respect you, whatsoever.

    If she did, she would have made an effort, she would have paid back SOMETHING, would have worked more, or at all.

    But she didn’t, because she has no respect for you.

    Be cordial, don’t trigger any big clash, but IMMEDIATELY begin taking steps to protect you and your assets, separating finances and personal/banking information etc., and preparing for what’s likely about to happen.

    You’ve been mostly just a resource, throughout. So, when it’s obvious you as a resource are drying up, she’ll try to take as much as possible before it’s really over.

    And…I hate to say this but I genuinely believe this will likely happen, you’re probably going to be labeled something-phobic eventually, to make you put to he the bad guy. Because you WILL have to be made out to be the bad guy, and that’s an easy path.

  2. Thanks. I did try therapy 2-3 times before for 6-12 months each. It didn’t help me at all. If anything I ended up more stressed than before because of how much money it cost me. I never gained anything from it other than it being a really expensive venting session

  3. I'm slightly suspicious as to why friend B is so relentless about this relationship. I'd be kind but direct. Her behavior borders on possessive and it's not only unhealthy but abusive. Tell her you appreciate the effort but this is your final conversation regarding her. I doubt she knows the real story.

  4. I can't respect your post when you admit you have “an open relationship” but then you call several times call a woman he's interested in “a bitch” for no other reason than his interest.

    Check your attitude!

    Go to individual counseling and work on yourself and your issues. Let your therapist help you decide if an open relationship is right for you going forward. Let your therapist help you decide if this relationship is right for you long-term.

    The respect you show is the respect you receive. Calling her a 'bitch' is causing him to call you a 'psycho'.


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