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I had an ex who I had blocked on all social media and my phone. He made fake profiles so he could contact me, would call my new BF’s place of business and harass him, try to sabotage his job… it was a whole mess. This ex was mentally and emotionally abusive and unstable. Which is why it ended. The guy I was seeing, he had a temper himself, even though he never turned it on towards me, I just saw it. So I never actually told him about what Corey had been doing until way later. He wasn’t happy about me not telling him right away, but I also didn’t want and altercations going down. I changed jobs (he would show up there) and phone numbers. Almost moved because he would show up at my house. Came very close to a restraining order.
Point being, I understand where your BF is coming from, but he shouldn’t be taking it out on you. Maybe in the morning try to talk to him again, when you have both calmed down. He needs to understand that you aren’t giving your ex any reason to contact you, you aren’t inviting any of this attention. Change your number if you need to. While I agree his outburst is a red flag, and that he’s being a little possessive, he’s also being protective.
First of all, you obviously shouldn‘t feel guilty. Maybe see it in another light: by going to the cops, you can maybe safe another girl from being raped by him. Please go to the cops, maybe take someone from this club with you, but make sure, this asshole will never assault anyone ever again! You may fuck his life up, but you have to imagine how many lifes you save.
You're more than welcome to add your own advice to the post.
I stand by what I said.
She told him this was a flaw of hers and the reletionship would be bumpy because of it. He agreed and signed up for it. Now that he is not enjoying the bumpy ride, he is considering breaking it off with her. This shouldn't be a surprise to him.
If someone struggles with this:
I'm not great at showing emotions. I never really have been. I get really overwhelmed, and can't process or say what I'm feeling. Then I just cry.
It goes beyond 'love language' and breeches into mental health territory. He should be acknowledging the good she's done so far, and encouraging her to do better. Instead of shitting on her because its not up to his standards.
Like I said at the very start of my comment, my overall point:
this kind of sounds you two are incompatible.
She needs someone more delicate and who doesn't require this high of a demonstration of love.
You can say he has been compassionate all you want. But the depth of those characteristics is not determined when its easy to do. Its determined over times when its hard to do. This is one of those times when its hot to do.
There are thousands of ways OP can show her love that does not include his way. The act of her checking herself into therapy for the goal of improving herself in her reletionship, is an act of love. Not my problem that you, nor her bf can see that.
I am not saying she has nothing to work on. I am saying this reletionship is flawed to begin with. He is not the appropriate person to help her overcome this struggle of hers. A struggle that is painful to her. He is not the right person for the job.
I can recognize the type of love she needs to help her overcome this.
I stand by what I said.
They're incompatible.
Thank you for your input.
If you cheated, just leave. She should leave you but either way just bounce.
I mean, here in the Netherlands adultery is not taken into acocunt with anything. And if two parties can't agree on a divorce settlement, a judge will just divide all debts, posessions, etc. in half. It doens't matter why the relationship/marriage broke off, the bank doesn't care, all they see are 2 names on the contract, both of whom are equally responsible for adhering to its terms.
I'm afraid to leave I moved abroad to be with him and in the process of being a resident in his country and gave up on my rights in my homeland.. I'm at my mom's now and I miss him and can't possibly imagine my life without him while knowing going back will hurt me and the next time it happens will break me for good.
Sounds like my dad.. he is a very stubborn and pedantic man (even though he is a great dad) living with someone like that is naked! They get worse and worse. My poor mother walks on egg shells cause she has remember when she puts stuff. If you can't handle it now leave
He's a 50 year old man and a manager – who has definitely had corporate training on what is and isn't acceptable behaviour – he's not innocent. He knows what he's doing. He's relying on your kindness and lack of desire to risk “being wrong”.
It's fucking creepy. None of it is ok. Report it to HR.
You address it by breaking up with man-baby there.
Why was it your responsibility to set an alarm for a brunch with his friends after he had been up all night?
I don't get it? Is he totally incompetent? What things are good about this guy, eh? Do you love him? Is he a good kisser?
He sounds like a complete moron.
It does sound a bit intense for a 5 month relationship, maybe take it easy. But also I think you could benefit from having a conversation about love languages. The idea is that people express their affection in different ways and prefer to receive affection in different ways. It sounds like you show affection by being there 24/7 and you want to receive physical touch. Maybe things work differently for her.