Sofie Cakes

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11 thoughts on “Sofie Cakes

  1. Upset? I'd say she's more than just upset. She's suffering from crippling loneliness and lashed out as a result. She definitely needs therapy. I think you were too heavy handed with the blame here.

    This is just a wild guess, but I think her friend, E, is more concerned about OP's wellbeing than the offense caused by her telling him to f‐off and leave her alone.

  2. I agree she deserves someone who is happx for her. She and I are so close and we talk and text so much I feel I can't distance myself arbitrarily, she'll know sth's up. We are also always honest with each other and I think she at least deserves to know why I left. But I am terrified of losing someone I am so close to and who supports me, I feel like I am losing such a large part of myself and I'll be alone. I am trying to calm down before acting and I know I should distance myself but it feels so awful.

  3. Dude, guys are gonna creep no matter what. I went to the store hungover with no makeup, wearing baggy jeans and an oversized hoodie with my hair in a bun AND my wedding ring on and STILL had a guy follow me a few aisles and ask for my Instagram. We deal with this crap daily no matter what we wear or what we're doing

  4. Shit, I’d tell him to go ahead and file then. If that’s all it takes for him to want to end your marriage then he doesn’t seem very invested in it in the first place, because what the fuck? Your friend was forced between a rock and a nude place, working an extra job and paying the bills for a cheating husband that she only has to do all of this for because of his terrible decisions, and that’s all it takes for your man to want to leave?? I’d tell him it seems like he’s just looking for an excuse to end things because that’s fucking stupid, so go ahead and do it.


  5. this is a messy one, because obviously we all have preferences, but the question becomes where does that preference come from…

    And “unique” reads a lot (in this post) like a modernized version of “exotic” – which would be very “othering” to the women you date – it's not them you are seeing but rather their difference from you/some internalized norm.

    Does this make you a racist scumbag? No.

    Does this come from racist ideas of what is “normal” and what is “unique” – it sort of reads like it does.

    Now don't get me wrong, black women and Asian women are beautiful, as they are women, and all women are beautiful, it's just whether your preference is truly based on them as individuals, or the fact that they are a different/other that is the root of your friends concern… Take a little time, sit with the discomfort that this answer will kick up, and think about where things come from… This isn't a bad thing, it's an opportunity to think about your own biases, and possibly widen your dating pool, or at the very least be able to better understand what your preferences are, and if they really are not about that “exotic” quality, you can explain things to your friend better, and heal that confusion.

  6. Esther Perel and Caylee Cresta have both said very interesting things on the topic of men wanting sex with their partners without any of the lead up or background work. Well worth a listen / read!

  7. When discussing your pasts, did she get into specifics regarding of partners (i dated my neighbor, John) or was it vague ( I've slept with more than x men)?

    Also, we're these ONS or was she sleeping with them all for awhile? Are these nudes still out there?


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