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And the reason is they had nothing to gain and everything to lose?
Which is dishonest, lying, and a betrayal of trust. If they had “everything to lose”, they know they did the wrong thing.
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16 year olds messing around is not a meaningful event
And? Is it that hard to be fucking honest with the person you are marrying?
I’m pretty sure if his dad or stepmum knew he told you, they’d probably be upset with him. His stepmum would probably be so embarrassed and ashamed (even though she shouldn’t).
If your husband wanted to keep it secret, he shouldn’t have told you. He’s upset because there’s a chance his family might know he didn’t keep it secret, that he didn’t keep it in the family. He’s being a hypocrite.
And what was his point of telling you? Because he wasn’t the victim in this, it was his stepmum. It should have been his stepmum’s story to tell.
Bad news: you cannot convince her. If she was willing to be persuaded, she would have been. She knows what she's doing. She knows it's wrong. She does it anyway.
Good news: you have no obligation to tolerate this one second longer.
Her behavior is severely disordered and includes assault. You honestly should break up. She will throw a tantrum. But you should break up anyway.
If you choose to stay, you are going to have to set boundaries. Because she behaves this way, you will no longer be able to go to her house. You'll basically have to re-set dating back to in-public only for a while. That might possibly change if she gets appropriate psychological help and demonstrates change over a significant period of time. But you need to be aware that such change is really unlikely while you're together.
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Good point. I just know if I cut contact I lose the kids and I love them so much.
Im not sure why you’re being so defensive. It sounds like he’s committing to making sure you’re ready before penetrating you. This is a good thing. Why are you making it into a bad thing?
Arousal changes as we age. It takes a little longer to get wet at 30 than it does when you’re 22 and ready to go at the drop of a hat. It’s the same way for men: getting older means sometimes it takes a little warming up unlike when you’re young and have an instant rock hot boner at the brush of a finger. There’s nothing wrong with the way your body is changing.
You need to examine why you’re being so defensive when your husband is genuinely trying to make a positive change. He didn’t imply that there’s anything wrong with you. You’re just interpreting it that way.
she is a liar. it is not an overreaction. the trust is dead. your relationship can’t survive without trust. you only delayed the inevitable.
on a side note, she is clearly afraid of you, that is also a concern. if your Gf can’t tell you what is going on in her life because she is afraid, that is a problem. it is not healthy for you nor for her. maybe you should work on that in your next relationship. this one is circling the drain.
I would just say congratulations and good luck. Be honest with and kind to each other.
Finding meaningful relationships gets harder to do as you get older.
I think it'd be beneficial for you to look up cycle of abuse, and maybe read the book “why does he do that”.
Physically restraining you and getting aggressively in your face is unacceptable behavior. Blaming you and flipping it on you when you try to tell him you don't like it is a classic manipulation tactic.
Maybe he doesn't realize what he's doing. Doesn't change the fact that his actions are abusive.
Would you consider her behaviour toxic or abusive
It stars Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson. In the movie he becomes addicted to his AI to the point where he shuns real flesh and blood women. It’s a very good movie. Kind of sad but genuine. I’m not sure if it will help your girlfriend but watching it might help her gain a bit of perspective.