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Vivien (but Vivi for friends), ❤️?, 18 y.o.
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Yes? He was painting out like they were in a serious relationship, bringing her home and asking if she wanted to live there one day.
If you're in a casual dating situation, sure, a heads up is enough courtesy. If you're acting like you want to build a life with someone, you absolutely need to inform them when you're making serious decisions that could be relationship-ending. It's selfish to think “well I don't want you to break up with me before I'm ready so I'm going to keep information from you that might cause that to happen.”
It's not controlling or manipulative to ask her to take it down, that's ridiculous. Demanding she take it down by threatening her is getting closer to that. Asking your partner not to do something because it's hurtful to you isn't controlling.
Man take my advice please, spend the next 3 years and get in the best shape ever and go become rich, and never go back you’re only 32
you could always use Google translate. but I'm pretty sure the question is , “is it bad to have a boyfriend that is 15 while being 12?”
Every time I see things like this I wonder.
You understand this child didn't do a damn thing to you and is probably going to be treated like/get shit from anyone who knows they're an affair baby for the literal rest of their life, right?
They didn't choose to be an affair baby.
That child is still your relative.
Congratulations on being the first person to consciously exercise the power to take a dump on them for the circumstances of their birth. I'm sure it's going to be a good precursor to lifelong neglect.
You're not wrong for not supporting your brother's actions but you are wrong for treating a child as less than his peers because of circumstances they didn't choose.
You guys grew up and grew apart. She wants to date around, you aren’t sure. This is going to flame out unless you guys have an honest conversation about what is bothering you. Don’t feel guilty about wanting to leave. You’re finally seeing the forest for the trees.
I'm not arguing why I should take it because that's not what I'm here for.
Yea you’re overthinking
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Then she should follow the guidelines given by her parents. Her education should take priority and if she's not allowed to date while her parents fund her life, she should stick to the rules. You don't have stick around for that obviously, but I wouldn't expect someone to sacrifice their education for me.
Old guy with young gf and still not up for sex…? Sad
They’ll get over it
Well the guy was really toxic
Maybe he thought you didn't want more sex? Use your words, if it happens again just ask him if he's going to use that thing or just play with it.
Dude, she sounds arrogant, petulant and narcissistic. You broke up with her?
Pretty smart move, if you ask me, and I'd stay as far away from this toxic mess as possible.
Her breasts leaking during pregnancy is not a guarantee she will have adequate supply FYI.
But beyond that – you do not get a say. It’s HER BODY. It’s not just an incubator and food machine for the baby. She is still an entire human with the right to bodily autonomy.
Breastfeeding fucking sucks – I hated every second of it. I don’t blame her for not wanting to continue giving her body for another 6+ months. There are a lot of benefits to bottle feeding – for example, you will be able to do your fair share of feeding the baby so she can get some rest.
Wikipedia is really bad with sex. When I was younger and wanting to learn about sex but too terrified to watch porn, I searched it. What I found was a very technical article, that at the end of the day was full of buzzwords. It had everything about sex except how sex was performed. I mean the point of looking it up was “how do people do this thing that there are only vague mentions about” . It didn’t even have any mention of penetration, and a vague mention of “stimulation of the genitals” which I couldn’t make any heads or tails of at that age. So that source was useless….
Should’ve just realized porn was my only friend here.
Easy advice, pay for your own room.
He's made you an offer to cover the costs of the event and let you share his room if you want zero costs. If you aren't happy with the offer, just pay your own way for the part you're not okay with.
I've made a similar offer to someone before and wasn't expecting sex. Was going on holiday with friends, but all the friends were coupled up and, at the time, I was single. I was already paying for the room etc, so the only extra cost for me was transport (worth it to have someone come along for company). While I have zero problem entertaining myself, I figured it'd just be more enjoyable to have someone else there in the same position to wander off and have fun with when others were off being romantic on holiday.
She ended up cancelling at the last minute. Bit annoying as I'd already paid for her transport, but no big deal.
Had she said “I'm not comfortable with sharing a bed but I'd like to go and just buy my own room” I'd have been fine with that as I'd have still got what I wanted.
???
Yeah fair that’s a good point, I’m also worried because she works in the same area that he lives so if they catch up after work it might be at a restaurant or even his house
God forbid in his car
Good grief, sis. After reading your comments, and I don’t mean this to be cruel, but I’m embarrassed for you. This extremely toxic, codependent relationship with your embarrassingly shitty boyfriend, combined with your total lack of self respect and total lack of understanding what even halfway healthy relationships look like, and now your refusal to see things how they really are, I mean, you are now at a point where you are embarrassing yourself.
Get out of this romantic relationship with your embarrassingly shitty boyfriend and get into a professional relationship with a therapist, because you are just floating around out there in this world with no clue on what a healthy relationship looks like and no clue on what it means for you to be emotionally healthy. That’s the advice. With your skewed perspective on what love looks like, you are doomed to online a miserable, lonely life with shithead after shithead, because you don’t have any idea what a good relationship is supposed to look like. With some honesty and some nude work, along with the admission and acceptance that you are totally lost here, a therapist can help you with all of this.
Seems pretty dang insecure to me. He answered. It’s a legit answer. If she distrusts her husband enough to ask internet strangers then there’s more going on.
Yea you're just describing the best and most healthy type of relationship. Don't bother measuring your relationship with a weird yardstick that has no real relevance and importance.
People would kill to have your relationship, so just treasure it as it stands. You'll grow and evolve as people and as a couple, and as long as you have each other and the relationships best interest at heart you can't go wrong.
for some reason i can’t see the comment?
It's a long story but there was a reason it's not just something out of the blue
It really sounds like peeing blood hence why he’s so defensive about it and it only happened at this new place. The one thing I hate about this sub is everyone immediately goes to the worst case scenario being drugs for this story.
Dude. Your mental health matters, and your adult fully functioning partner- should understand your mental health issues. Anxiety is quite literally the worst feeling on this planet and you deserve someone who will help you feel like you will get through it. Not how much worse it will be down the line, when “she needs you” as if she is helping or supporting you to the level she expects??? because personally- just reading that, as a person with anxiety. GIVES ME anxiety… there is no way you deserve that, or need to deal with it. And as a female I’ll tell you, there is someone out there who will be your person. And they will never berate you. I wish you luck and I hope you give yourself a break and let this relationship go.
You break the cycle by ending the toxic relationship.
Tell him if he’s threatened by a girl carrying milk, that’s on him. ??♂️
I have. But I don’t know how I can possibly do it, at least not right now I can’t see how. Might be pregnancy hormones, might not, I have no clue.
I don’t want to share my baby with anyone, and only see him once in a while or whatever. I don’t want my infant son to have to see his dad, and leave me for hours. I have absolutely no clue how to date or find love again as a young single mom. And I don’t want to have children with multiple men and have ex’es stuck in my life.
I really thought he was the guy, and just got cold feet. Which is terrible enough might I add, I am very much aware that you don’t just up and leave your pregnant girlfriend.
All the rest came after and honestly shook me to the core. He had always seemed so in love with me, cheating never crossed my mind untill after he left
I honestly don’t even know at this point
Which is unfortunate at this point because now you dont know if anything can be salvaged. I dont even know if telling him this over the phone is a good idea since he is still gone for some months. And every day he thinks you just cheated with a random guy, that isnt going to make things any better. Maybe look into a therapist not only to help you, but also maybe help you “solve” things a bit.
Good luck OP
You know what to do then.
no no no. the gf is NOT a mother to her bf. this is something a lot of men need to understand.